You can't pour from an empty cup.

I remember my father telling me "Valérie, tu brûles la chandelle par les deux bouts"

(translation: you are burning the candle from both ends)

Was he right? Yes.

Did I listen to him? Of course not!

When I had my first child, I was 26 years old. My husband and I owned and operated a café that was open 7 days a week. I never missed a party, and my house was a revolving door of visitors. I worked out 3 days a week, and I also thought that it would be a good time to complete a yoga teacher training program. I was religious about attachment parenting, co-sleeping, cloth diapering in combination with elimination communication, and baby sign language.

Having a baby wasn't going to slow me down and I was firing on all cylinders...until I ran out of gas.

Three years down the line, I refused to step foot into our restaurant, my marriage was in the toilet and I was a very grumpy mummy indeed.

I had been living my life outside of myself, seeing myself and my value through the eyes of others.

It took me three years to spiral down to the shell of myself. The lights were on, but nobody was home. In retrospect, I can hardly remember those years altogether, that's how fast I was spinning.

Do. Not. Do. This.

It took me years to build myself back up, and to piece together a life that makes sense, and that I can hopefully remember.

I needed to take a hard look at how I had gotten to where I was. Where were the false truths that were running my life and driving me into the ground coming from? What was I going to do about it?

It starts by saying No.

NO to others in order to say YES to yourself.

It's not easy at first, we are so hard-wired to give, and we fear being considered selfish if we put ourselves first.

Tell yourself this new truth:

I am not selfish, I am self-full.

I need to be full. I need to be rested and fed and happy in order to care for my family, friends and clients in the best way. I need to show up for myself, so that there IS a self that can show up for you.

How are you filling your cup these day?